Broken Chains
Broken Chains is my story of addiction and what God did to set me free!
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV)
10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
A testimony about how God needs your authority to act in your life. He gave us free will which governs as we make our own choices in this world. But give him the authority to act and you will find broken chains!
A Childhood Beginning
Broken Chains of Addiction
The Milk Money
I guess I started smoking very young by todays standards. The exact age escapes me but what I do remember is that my parents would give me milk money for school which was thirty cents. I would stop at the corner store and buy a pack of cigarettes for twenty-five cents. The fact it was my milk money puts me in middle school and yes stop laughing at the price. I am a boomer so it was a long time ago.
Middle School
It was a different time then. Both of my parents were smokers and children will try to emulate their parents. My mother smoked the Pall Mall no filter kind of cigarettes. I started on those stealing one from her pack at times and she did not know the difference. But cigarettes without filters were much stronger than those so common today. And I got hooked on the Nicotine drug at a very young age. I was very small in middle school and that filterless cigarette was even stronger due to such little mass.
Minors Legal Purchase
Buying cigarettes myself was easily possible because in those days they did not restrict the sale to minors. It was not uncommon for a parent to wait in the car and let the child run in with the money to grab a pack of cigarettes. So, the merchant would not think anything about it. Who would have even thought that a tiny child even knew how to smoke or would have access to matches? It was the age of tobacco.
School Smoking Section
On top of everything else we had TV commercials about smoking. We had beautiful women making it look sexy, rugged men making it look strong, masculine and we had cartoon characters telling us it was something we wanted.
It is no wonder that we were maneuvered into the grip of the enemy quite easily.
And we even had a smoking section outside in middle school where the children were allowed to smoke. It was a restricted area but we were allowed to smoke! Unheard of today. So suffice it to say I developed addiction.
Smoking in the Office
So I moved forward in life High School then College still smoking regularly. I moved into a job where we could smoke in the office. No problem life kept on going. And smoking was no big deal. Then slowly the world started to change. Our office was moving into a new building but now they were restricting smoking in the building to a designated smoking area. This meant we could only smoke on our breaks. I started smoking so young about the seventh grade. So by the time I was in my mid twenties I had already been a smoker for over ten years. The physical addiction for me was pretty strong. And I used to tell my friends I did not smoke for pleasure. I had to smoke just to be normal like everyone else. Sadly it was the truth of it.
A Young Adult
Broken Chains of Addiction
Times were Changing
So time kept on going soon enough a city ordinance was passed that said no smoking was allowed in public buildings. So now the smoking areas began to migrate outside. Now we were sequestered in groups on fire escapes, exterior alcoves or parking lots. And some properties were making rules that no one could smoke on the premises. No smoking restaurants were cropping up everywhere and smokers were becoming a negative target for the population. I did not want to smoke but I did not have an alternative.
The Hypnosis Attempts
My sister had been able to quit through a hypnosis session and recommended the program to me to try. I paid for it, I went through it and I actually quit for a couple of weeks but the physical addiction would always get the better of me. The point would come where I went into an absolute Rage and wanted to put my fist through the wall. And I could not get over that hump it was so physically stressful I would succumb.
Quitting was a two prong process. The physical addiction and the psychological addiction (the habit). The hypnosis would tackle the psychological addiction on a temporary basis but the physical withdrawal symptoms would overcome my will. So the Hypnosis did not work. I tried the group hypnosis which had worked for my sister. And then I tried the individual package of a number of sessions one on one with a hypnotist. It was not successful.
Doctor Consultation
Life kept going on and the time continued to pass. I was still a smoker. I knew I needed to quit but the thought of going through all of that withdraw again kept me pushing it out farther in time.
Eventually due to shortness of breath I decided to go and discuss the matter with my doctor. I never liked admitting weakness so I had avoided that discussion as long as possible. However, it had become evident that I was not having success on my own so the time had come to swallow my pride and go talk to the doctor.
Strong Physical Addiction
The doctor had been on my case for a long time about quitting during my yearly exams. I guess he was happy to hear me telling him the truth of it. And he explained to me that the reason I was having so much trouble was the strength of my physical addiction. Apparently some people have a stronger physical addiction than others. That is the nature of drugs that some are more susceptible than others. I was embarrassed to tell the truth about how young I had started smoking so I never did. He said quite possibly my addiction was such that I would not be able to quit without assistance. Trade one drug for another. I was angry and resisted that at first.
The Patches Attempts
I decided I would try a different approach. If it was a physical addiction problem well I could try the nicotine patches. That was a program that reduced the nicotine intake gradually over time. But what I did not expect was that it would just extend that agony that I felt when I tried to quit. Just make it last over an unreasonable amount of time. So I ended up cheating on the patches and smoking the occasional cigarette. Just to make myself feel better. I was very hard to be around for a very long time and I still could not quit.
Failure Again
Time kept on passing. And I would just give up for awhile. But I realized that when I was swimming in the pool suddenly I would feel like I could not catch my breath. I was teaching a friends daughter to do handstands but then a panic hit me when I could not go under the water. I could not hold my breath long enough and It was clear that something was changing. It was beginning to frighten me. By now more than another decade had passed. I tried the patch program a couple more times but I still could not quit.
Mature Adulthood
Broken Chains of Addiction
Try the Drugs
So I finally decided to go back to the doctor and try the drugs. I had run out of options. He developed a program with the introduction of anti anxiety medication. The program also required the amount of cigarettes being consumed to be reduced. Set a goal and strive to reach it at “my own pace”. It’s ok if you mess up just start again. Well I admit that the anti anxiety drugs helped with the withdraw symptoms but not enough to actually take me over that hump of Rage when you finally do quit. I worked my way down diligently to reduce the nicotine. I went a couple of months and reached the stop goal. Rage took over right at the two week mark without nicotine, drugs or not.
It was still the same. Shaking, putting my fist through a wall were my first thoughts. I was uncontrollable. Needless to say there had been a great deal of effort resulting in failure and disappointment. I gave up.
Still Cigarettes Before Anything Else.
Time kept going on. I went through some other health issues but through everything I still had to have that cigarette. Buying cigarettes before I would buy anything else including food. I could do without food before cigarettes. That’s really sad when you think about it.
More and more of my friends were or became non smokers but I still struggled with my addiction. Probably more than another decade passed. If you are doing your math you know that by now I have been smoking close to forty years and I am miserable.
What if there was no Withdrawal?
My sister says something to me about trying to quit and I was not hearing her. There is no way I can go through that aggression again. The withdraw is just too strong and I am not willing to go through that again yet. I admit that I have to try again but I am just not ready yet I have been through a lot with other health problems and I need a break first. She says, “what if you did not have to go through that at all? I asked what she meant. She explained that she was talking about God. He could take it away without any withdrawal symptoms maybe I should pray about it.
God only did stuff like that in Bible Times
Well that sounded crazy to me. God does not do things like that. He would probably help me get through my withdraw but take it away, no she was just talking crazy talk. It was not even feasible in my mind that such a thing was possible. I did begin to pray for help to quit smoking but again I was not praying to take away the symptoms of withdraw. I was praying for strength, praying for perseverance. My sister was praying for me also. Quitting was something I had been giving a lot of thought. I was even telling God in my prayer help me quit soon. I am not ready to go through it again yet.
Break the Chain
Broken Chains of Addiction
The Bad Flu
Then I got a really bad flu, that usually did not matter I would smoke through everything. I remember that I was pretty sick, home from work. It was winter and the temperatures outside were cold. I was sleeping a lot.
First day I was only waking up to take medicine, the second day went by still feeling pretty weak. For me the days were running together. Then on the third day I started to come back to normal consciousness at least, I was up watching TV. I starting to want some soup or something.
When was the last time you had a cigarette, my sister asked? Suddenly, it hit me it had been days and I had not even noticed! What I did notice was that I did not even want one, more importantly I did not need one! What in the world was going on? Broken chains of addiction. I saw her smile a knowing smile at me. I was in disbelief.
God Took it Away
Could it really be true? Had God taken away my addiction. Tears started streaming down my face could I finally be free? There may be those of you out there who do not really understand the gravity of this situation. But this was something I struggled with, really struggled with for decades. And it had just stopped! I did not even notice I had not smoked, did not even remember to smoke for days!
No Physical withdrawal
I had the flu like a million times in my life. And had smoked through the coughs, through the pain in my chest when I would inhale with the bronchitis. And this time I forgot to smoke!
There was no withdrawal, there was no Rage at that two week mark. It was a miracle! I did have a part to play. God took away the physical addiction and left me with the psychological one.
I still had the habit to kick myself. I still wanted a cigarette but I did not need one. But as I told many people since that time I could never disrespect what God did for me by picking up a cigarette ever again. I made it through the psychological addiction on my own and the chains had been broken!
No Disputing it Happened
Then I started thinking about what had been done for me. God had touched me he had taken away the addiction supernaturally. Broken chains of addiction. It opened my mind to the reality of what God could do in this world. I guess I had always thought of God as distant. Not here now, able to work miracles in my everyday life. Miracles were something from the Bible times. I had heard of people being healed of illness and things like that but I was not sure that there wasn’t some other explanation. There was no disputing what happened to me. It happened.
God Has No Limitations
It showed me that anything is possible for God. There are no limitations. The Bible says he did things like part the Red Sea I understand now that it was not just a story to teach us a lesson it was a reality. He appeared in a burning bush, he really appeared in a burning bush. When it says he sent the plagues to Egypt guess what he sent plagues to Egypt. These are not stories these are truths. This is something that I do not question after I have seen what he has done first hand. It has changed my perceptions of life. It opened a door of understanding. Jesus said that with faith the size of a mustard seed we could move a mountain. This is a reality to consider!
Matthew 17:20 KJV
20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Give God Your Weakness
I don’t know if you found this Broken Chains of addiction Testimony helpful in anyway, I can only hope that the Lord uses it to help someone. A lot of us have needs and we delay putting our weakness in the hands of God. And the authority to act must be given to God, He must be allowed to help us. He loves us, he wants to help us but we have made the choices. We have to ask for his help. God is alive, he is real right here and right now! You do not have to doubt that. Think about that and all that it brings.
If you have not asked Christ to come into your heart, if you have not laid down your brokenness at the feet of the living God do it now. If you tell him so and really mean it he will lead you the rest of the way and you can find peace…
For The Love of God,
Sparks
